(I don’t really know how to begin this post but read below for my word/feelings dump. That also means there’s probably a crap ton of typos/grammar mistakes…)
It’s like was too tuned in. I felt like I was falling behind on something I’m supposed to be enjoying. And then of course I took a series of hits in my personal life and a jab from my professional life, leaving me down for several counts.
The bottom line? I needed a break.
So I took one.
It was so freeing not feeling obligated to tweet about the latest chapter or see the next upcoming release, or literally anything. Like for real. I didn’t even see SuBLime’s release tweet. I told a mutual to text me if the title was an interesting one, and she somewhat delivered (we’ll see when the title comes out🌝).
It also freed me from the obligation of interacting. I’m a true introvert, so while I love every single one of you, being tuned in 25/7 (or it felt that way) to so many people left my battery on -00000%. I logged off and turned back to my life passions: reading and writing.
I now have three working fan fictions on top of my big KnB project and my two OC’s. And I did read something else triggering while licking my wounds so that was fun (that review🤐). But, writing what I wanted to happen along with reading the soft yet dramatic classic Only the Ring Finger Knows (the novels), and starting another rewatch of Bleach helped me get over that small hurdle.
Even though I feel more like myself, I am hurtling toward obstacles on the track I chose and I’m not sure if I can clear it or if I’ll stumble. When people say getting your Ph.D. is… a lot, they mean it. And while BL is a passion of mine, I didn’t work my tooshie off in undergraduate to fail now. So, if BL is going to make me stumble, I’ll remove it.
For the time being.
Essentially, the minimum activity these past three/four days? That’ll be me until October 21st.
However, that refers to my social media presence, not my blogging largely because it’s still fun for me. Like as I write this, writing my own tweet versus say, hyping my friends up at Yaoi Crate (did you get yours👀) or RTs from mangakas and artists, makes me anxious. And I don’t need that (excuse my French) ho interfering again. But I find it freeing to write this blog post. I feel no dread even though I know some of y’all are gonna read it. But switching to my Twitter feed and scrolling is like nope nope nope.
However I’m not saying I won’t interact if you talking to me; I love talking to oomfs because one of the best things about BL (to me) is sharing it. I mean I could easily hole up in my studio rewatching Hitorijime My Hero (I hope y’all have at least seen episode one by now!), but where’s the fun in that?
I’ll also be working toward finishing this KnB project that while slow going, is fun to write because KnB is arguably the gayest sports anime e v e r. I dare you to (and really hope you) watch at least the movie. Yes it comes at the end so kinda spoiler-y but some of the gayest dialogue between to male characters that aren’t canon I’ve ever had the pleasure to rewatch happens. Plus, if y’all think Haikyuu!! is shippable… KnB is a sailors paradise (FujoCon, did I do it right😂)!
So be on the lookout at for my blog posts and maybe a review or two as I feel impassioned to write them.
Thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with me and I look forward to sharing more BL together!